Hey Song

After lunch today I had a Taiwanese Sarsaparilla. It was kind of like Moxie, but without that third chalky/coffee grounds flavor.
I love globalization.

Minding my own business...

I've encountered this forum a couple of times over the years. It's an entertaining way to kill a couple of hours:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985

Black Magic

http://www.fetusx.com/

Why don't we see more uppity negro warlocks?

Standin in line at midnight to get what you could at noon the next day

I want to stand in line at the video game store midnight for the Madden 08 release wearing a Master Chief costume for Halo 3 and once at the front of the line I'll ask the clerk for the new Harry Potter book. When he tells me they don't have it I'll shoot six people and demand an iPhone.

My last words before being shot to death in my cardboard space marine outfit by the NHPD will be "Voldemort killed Hermione."

xkcd

http://xkcd.com/c291.html

There are a lot of webcomics I like. This is frequently among my favorites.

Limeys

A man in a bow tie just asked me where to find the loo.

Dick Roeper loves Transformers

He gave it a thumbs up. He really did, I saw it!

Asshole Symposium

I propose we all get together for a meal and drinks, including Ben, who can bring his own yoo-hoo and take 5 bars. Any suggestions?

They love me more than cake

Yesterday at the supermarket I was approached by what seemed to be a barely functional half-tard. Whether his deficit was emotional, mental or physical I could not tell but he apparently knew me and was thrilled to see me after so long. Fearing the mysterious yet powerful strength his kind often posses es I entertained his notions and engaged in small talk while purchasing a coffee. After hearing all about his cell phone and his "girlfriend" I wished him a prosperous future and continued my shopping. I needed meat.

The last 3 times I have been to Stop and Shop this has happened with 3 different tards. Some more complete in their retardation than others. I had a woman tell me that Sharon was pretty and that she married her husband for the money because her parent couldn't afford to take care of her tard needs. I had a strange man with coke-bottle glasses talk to me about his medication and yesterday my long lost friend discuss his cell phone with me.

Do I give off some sort of tard attracting pheromone? Am I helping out the tards through some sleep walking charity work? Am I myself retarded and my daily work life and weekend activities are really all delusions while I rock back and forth in a puddle of feces on a cement floor?

Maybe they all just want to be wrangled and know who the tardwrangler is?
It's tard rodeo time.

Transformers is like AIDS

I've been through periods when I could enjoy things that are so bad they're good. I have a borderline morbid appreciation for the absurd. I'm a sucker for spectacle. Really, I should have been able to find something of worth in the Transformers movie. Instead, I feel like a worse person for having seen it.

My take is that they were trying to avoid what happened with Superman Returns. That was one of the most expensive movie ever made and it virtually failed in theaters. It was kind of weird and people didn't get it. To avoid that fate, they made this the most bland, inoffensive, banal abomination they could.

The movie seemed to be written by a bunch of different people who weren't in communication with one another. None of them seemed to agree on what kind of movie it was supposed to be.

The special effects could have been the saving grace - they clearly spent a lot of time, money and effort on them - instead, they made it worse. The design was so bad, you could never tell what was happening on the screen. It was a mess of vaguely metallic shapes spinning around with slack-jawed actors trying to look scared in front of a green screen.

The worst thing I can imagine, though, is that negative reviews won't effectively communicate the worthlessness and might actually compel people, out of curiosity, to spend money on this piece of shit.

After years of Nazi propaganda the mouse had it coming

Revenge of the Jews