The Wrangler's new favorite band.

http://www.fgafjal.com/

Found via http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/the_worst_band_names_of_07

Full RP interview from HN last night

Split in 8 parts You Tube

Torrent of full interview

Huckabee breeds douche-bags and is a Bible-thumping fuck

Apparently this cockbite isn't as compassionate as the good lord wants us to believe.

Nothing pisses me off more than this shit. Note the resemblance to Michael Skakel.

Dr. Ron is the fucking man!

So this is Christmas?

Derek should appreciate this as I do.

I'm sure everyone is familiar with Lennon's whiny tirade.
Let the tune run in your head with these more "conservative" lyrics:

So this is Christmas
Conservatives cry
Cause children are happy
And we want them to die

War mongering Christmas
We all had some fun
Bombing all the A-rabs
And starving their young

Conservative Christmas
Drive my SUV
Right over the homeless
Speed bump them with glee

Conservative Christmas
What a happy day
‘Cause we just stole 4 million
From your 401k’s

An intolerant Christmas
On the colored we spit
And beat them for crimes that
They did not commit

Conservative Christmas
Have a happy new year
Unless you’re a red man
Black, yellow or queer

There’s a new Christmas anthem
On this holiday
For all those who hate us
No matter what we say

A Conservative Christmas
Have a great holiday
Unless of course you’re a liberal
Or a conservative gay

A Conservative Christmas
And a write off next year
Pray for a bull market
And go kill a deer

We’re war mongers
Love no longer
White race stronger
Blah Blah Blah Blahhhhh

Happy Hanukah

I just like the picture, but check this out

Just flew in from Denver and...

boy, is the New World Order tired!



This image was on the side of our plane and the pilot thanked us for flying with a member of the One World Alliance.

I wonder what Mr. Jones has to say about this.

Finally got the Alex Jones podcast to work.

It's easy enough to add "http://xml.nfowars.net/Alex.rss" to iTunes but my PSP doesn't work that way. I have to click on a stupid link to get it to subscribe.

So, I've made it a fucking link.

Ta fucking da. I can't believe it took me that long to figure that out.

Trust me. There isn't supposed to be an "i" in front of "nfowars.net"
You put the "i" in and it won't work.

For the 'Wrangler

check it out

Just in case...

How to survive the apocalypse and put off eating your schnauzer...at least for a while.

It has a shelf life of 30 years and the kids love it.

This is the Alex Jones approved product.

Good thing Alpines have detachable faceplates...

The Black Winds are coming, and you will die!

"Pet Saks" put in mouth are choking hazard

This Xmas remind the children in your life to refrain from placing "Pet Saks" in their mouths.

Don't swallow the "Sak"

Listen to your friends. They know stuff and junk.

You were dead on about those god awful wafers. They should have put a box of those in front of the pretty boys competing in Fear Factor.

I like to think that a belly full of Chinese buffet contributed to my disgust but I have to admit that even if starving those things would have tasted like poison ass. Poison fart-filled rancid ass with leaking sores all over.

The smell alone was horrible and spread through the air just as quickly and aggressively as you described. It was like a scene from some biological horror movie. I took the first (and only) bite out on the balcony because I felt the threat of vomit was not only real but inevitable.

When I bit into the wafer there was sort of cold rush of air that came out and forced itself down my throat carrying with it a concentrated dose of the rancid funk that had already made me queasy from a distance. This full on and direct assault was too much. In an instant I choked back the light vomit that rose into my mouth and completed the bite separating a section of the wafer and chewed once, twice, felt vomit rising again and spit it out before the action of puking forced it out. I threw the rest of the wafer across the parking lot and immediately felt intense shame.

Later that night I kept being woken by dreams of the moment the first bite sent the evil demon funk down my throat. It was all I saw and smelled and tasted when I closed my eyes. It must have been some sort of PTSD related trauma.

I wish they didn't smell so bad so they could be kept around for parties or given as gifts but the odor is really too much of a tell like the nuclear bright blues and yellows of poison dart frogs.

If there are no such things as trolls how do you explain all the dead unicorns?

Should I be shocked that the best metal I've heard in years has come in parody form?

I suppose not.

Have a listen and learn how to build a better metal snake or what it feels like to pilot a Hatredcopter.

All-encompassing stink

I'm just back from the Chinese grocery with a wonderful new discovery. Durian flavored wafers.

Before I continue, if you don't know about Durian, read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian#Flavour_and_odour

I had heard the tales of durian, but never expected to encounter it around here. I was very excited. I opened the package at my desk and a co-worker asked if I thought it smelled like there was a gas leak. I pulled one of the wafers out and crumbs went everywhere. I took a bite and instantly regretted it. The first thought I had was moldy pretzels. But not just a little moldy, really decaying green moist fuzzy pretzels. There was something else in there, too. It took me a minute to place it. Pus was the other flavor. When I first pierced my ears, one of them was a little fussy in the healing and there was some yellowish discharge. These wafers tasted just like that.

I put the package into my desk drawer but couldn't leave it there because the smell crept out. I put it into a plastic bag to bring home. Still, the crumbs all around my desk keep wafting up to me.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everybody panic! There are amoebas in the water!

http://www.kpho.com/news/14214579/detail.html#

There have already been 6 cases this year! That's a .0000000009 percent chance that you will be attacked by an amoeba! We're doomed!


Who wants to go swimming?

So who wants to stand in a midnight line with me?

I'm doing it. I'm going to stand in line at midnight for Halo 3. I figure I've fought the hype for virtually every other instance of hype so I may as well give it the old Russian bread-line try and line myself up at the ghetto GameCrazy and watch out for Bloods presence.

If it looks like I wont get my ass kicked by a flurry a ghetto grade schoolers I'll take a picture or so of the would-be mayhem.

Whaaaa?? The gun buy-back program didnt work?

Truly, I am shocked beyond belief.

In a not entirely unrelated side note, though I have completed my NRA training thingy I cant legally teach the class until the NRA does my paperwork and I get notified that I have been added as a certified trainer. I guess they have problems with impostor trainers?

I sent in my exams and stuff on Tuesday so given the approximate size of the bureaucracy involved I estimate it will be legal for me to teach by the year 2014. Unfortunately that is two years after the end of the world as we know it so my certification might not be recognized in the post-apocalyptic North American continent.

We'll have to play it by ear.

Dave, put Ben on your handlebars and take him to get his game. He's sad without it.

Kin

Some of the British aren't so bad:

"I hate offended people. They come in two flavours - huffy and whiny - and it's hard to know which is worst. The huffy ones are self-important, narcissistic authoritarians in love with the sound of their own booming disapproval, while the whiny, sparrowlike ones are so annoying and sickly and ill-equipped for life on Earth you just want to smack them round the head until they stop crying and grow up. Combined, they're the very worst people on the planet - 20 times worse than child molesters, and I say that not because it's true (it isn't), but because it'll upset them unnecessarily, and these readers deserve to be upset unnecessarily, morning, noon and night, every sodding day, for the rest of their wheedling lives."

by Charlie Brooker from the Guardian.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,,2170735,00.html

Ben grabs the Indie life preserver when he shouldve just drowned.

What's this? Ben wishes to attend the "I AM Festival?"

Has the whole world gone insane? Has the 7th seal been torn open?

Will Ben purchase from the self proclaimed indie craft fair? Will he provide a booth of his own and sell the indie crafts he has no doubt been locked away in his room perfecting all these years?

I don't know what upsets me more. Losing Ben to the indie kids he should be too old to lose himself too or that he approached me with an offer to purchase my soul. I feel so unclean. I have been offered crack, heroin, fat-girl sex and homo sex and neither has made my skin crawl with as many bugs as Ben's thoroughly indecent proposal has.

The dirt just won't come off.

Over the weekend I got dragged off to a gallery opening and was told while in attendence to "open up." Against my better judgement I held my tongue and for that I will never forgive myself. There are forces at work to push me over the edge I tell you. Dark, limp-wristed forces wearing girls pants.

lazy sunday

Nerds

Why it was okay for me to buy an iPod

I had to do some serious soul searching for this one. I was thinking about getting a new mp3 player. The Archos Jukebox Recorder has served me well for around 5 years, now, but it's starting to show its age. The AC adapter broke, so I can only charge the batteries by taking them out and putting them in a separate charger. The hard drive has been acting weird, sometimes audio will drop out for a few seconds or it'll just stop playing randomly. And I was starting to think that 20 gigabytes was not enough. The final nail in the coffin was that it let me down on my recent 5-hour journey to Ithaca. So, I started idly looking around to see what else was out there.

I only have a couple of demands: it has to be UMS compliant, so I can drag-and-drop and organize things the way I want them, it has to play illegally pirated drm-free stuff and it has to be cheap. I was initially drawn to the Cowon line. Their benefit is that they offer really good audio quality. Unfortunately, though, they're really expensive. Also, most the mp3s I'd be playing through it aren't high enough quality to really benefit. I looked at some of the other, newer Archos models, but none of them in my price range really did it for me. Then, I was looking at the site where I got the alternative firmware I use in my Archos and saw that they make firmware for the iPod. That intrigued me. I learned that I can get an iPod to do everything I want it to do. Next stop, Ebay. I looked around and discovered that if I was smart about it, I could get a 60 gig iPod w/video for just over $150. That was exactly my price range. So, I decided to go for it.

The only lingering advantage of my old Archos is that the thing is built like a tank. It has those huge rubber stoppers that you could run over with a truck and it'd probably still work. It occurs to me, though, that I never have run it over with a truck and I'd likely never run an iPod over with a truck either, so that shouldn't really be a major concern.

Now, I just have to live with the shame of carrying around an iPod. At least I'll have the secret thrill of knowing I'm getting all the benefits without any of the drawbacks. I'm not locked into iTunes. I can do what I want with my media. I didn't give Apple any of my money. And, hopefully, it'll be compatible with all the peripherals. So, I can finally get that musical toilet paper dispenser I've always wanted.

Is that a pistol in your pocket?

Why yes, yes it is.


Hooray for new guns!!!

I'll be a certified NRA instructor next week guys. Who wants a permit? Permits for everyone!

We Need Ben

Ben needs to be an active part of this little site. God knows the boy spends enough time on the internet, we need to let him know that Al Gore didn't go through all that trouble for him waste away all his online time searching for 15 year old japanese girls with eels leaping out of their recti.

Forgetting my friends

Man, I totally forgot this whole thing was here until I saw it scrolling through my entered URL's.

I guess that means you guys mean a lot to me, huh?

X's and O's. Well, maybe no X's. Well, X's for Ben but nobody else.

Perv Convention?

Is this the week of the great Pervert Convention? If so, I expect to be fully briefed on the organized depravity you've been privy to during this event.

Even more ridiculous.

I'm bored.
I'm going to get a ridiculous haircut.
You've been warned.

Confederate money lives!

It has Paul Harveys support.

www.libertydollar.org

God

I'm just listening to an old episode of Coast to Coast AM from 12/4/2006 with Matthew Alper. He wrote a book called The God Part of the Brain. George asked him what if God put that part into the brain so we would be hard wired to believe. Alper's response was: What kind of god would do such a bad job hard wiring us that we would all believe in different things and feel compelled to kill each other over it? He asked why we would want to worship something like that; he would feel sorry for that entity. Here's the line that got me: "Poor retarded god in the sky." Nearly crapped myself laughing at that one.


*edit*
I've uploaded part of the show here:

http://pantheon.yale.edu/~dm453/ghost/Coast%20to%20Coast%20-%20Dec%2004%202006%20-%20Hour%202.mp3
The quote's at about 28 minutes in.

Forget Madden! There's Katamari on the horizon!

Make Ben download the Katamari demo and hurt his feelings by smiling about it.

Dont forget your Madden tonight (Derek being the only one who would care)

Madden and some LSD

Don't look up

There's a giant ball of fire in the sky trying to kill us all.



Those accuweather.com graphics are my favorite.

Further compensation of my concave genetalia

Just got a new shotgun yesterday. Anybody want to go shoot some clays? It's cheap and manly, like a chest hair toupee.

The World's Only Reliable Newspaper

It seems that the Weekly World News will cease print publication on August 27.
http://www.reuters.com/article/industryNews/idUSN7O23037320070724

I want to think it's tragic, but really, it has sucked for the last ten years. I guess it's a better browsing option on the checkout line than OK! but that doesn't mean much.

Hey Song

After lunch today I had a Taiwanese Sarsaparilla. It was kind of like Moxie, but without that third chalky/coffee grounds flavor.
I love globalization.

Minding my own business...

I've encountered this forum a couple of times over the years. It's an entertaining way to kill a couple of hours:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985

Black Magic

http://www.fetusx.com/

Why don't we see more uppity negro warlocks?

Standin in line at midnight to get what you could at noon the next day

I want to stand in line at the video game store midnight for the Madden 08 release wearing a Master Chief costume for Halo 3 and once at the front of the line I'll ask the clerk for the new Harry Potter book. When he tells me they don't have it I'll shoot six people and demand an iPhone.

My last words before being shot to death in my cardboard space marine outfit by the NHPD will be "Voldemort killed Hermione."

xkcd

http://xkcd.com/c291.html

There are a lot of webcomics I like. This is frequently among my favorites.

Limeys

A man in a bow tie just asked me where to find the loo.

Dick Roeper loves Transformers

He gave it a thumbs up. He really did, I saw it!

Asshole Symposium

I propose we all get together for a meal and drinks, including Ben, who can bring his own yoo-hoo and take 5 bars. Any suggestions?

They love me more than cake

Yesterday at the supermarket I was approached by what seemed to be a barely functional half-tard. Whether his deficit was emotional, mental or physical I could not tell but he apparently knew me and was thrilled to see me after so long. Fearing the mysterious yet powerful strength his kind often posses es I entertained his notions and engaged in small talk while purchasing a coffee. After hearing all about his cell phone and his "girlfriend" I wished him a prosperous future and continued my shopping. I needed meat.

The last 3 times I have been to Stop and Shop this has happened with 3 different tards. Some more complete in their retardation than others. I had a woman tell me that Sharon was pretty and that she married her husband for the money because her parent couldn't afford to take care of her tard needs. I had a strange man with coke-bottle glasses talk to me about his medication and yesterday my long lost friend discuss his cell phone with me.

Do I give off some sort of tard attracting pheromone? Am I helping out the tards through some sleep walking charity work? Am I myself retarded and my daily work life and weekend activities are really all delusions while I rock back and forth in a puddle of feces on a cement floor?

Maybe they all just want to be wrangled and know who the tardwrangler is?
It's tard rodeo time.

Transformers is like AIDS

I've been through periods when I could enjoy things that are so bad they're good. I have a borderline morbid appreciation for the absurd. I'm a sucker for spectacle. Really, I should have been able to find something of worth in the Transformers movie. Instead, I feel like a worse person for having seen it.

My take is that they were trying to avoid what happened with Superman Returns. That was one of the most expensive movie ever made and it virtually failed in theaters. It was kind of weird and people didn't get it. To avoid that fate, they made this the most bland, inoffensive, banal abomination they could.

The movie seemed to be written by a bunch of different people who weren't in communication with one another. None of them seemed to agree on what kind of movie it was supposed to be.

The special effects could have been the saving grace - they clearly spent a lot of time, money and effort on them - instead, they made it worse. The design was so bad, you could never tell what was happening on the screen. It was a mess of vaguely metallic shapes spinning around with slack-jawed actors trying to look scared in front of a green screen.

The worst thing I can imagine, though, is that negative reviews won't effectively communicate the worthlessness and might actually compel people, out of curiosity, to spend money on this piece of shit.

After years of Nazi propaganda the mouse had it coming

Revenge of the Jews

I saw Indiana Jones' motorcycle.

I'm actually really enjoying this Indiana Jones filming in New Haven. I like all the old-timey cars and the redone storefronts on Chapel Street and that the streets are blocked off. I'm looking forward to seeing the movie and pointing out obnoxiously that I was there. It looks like it might be communists instead of Nazis this time. Along Chapel street, there were fliers posted about how we can defeat the red army and how to identify an atomic bomb.

Nerds in Space

I wish I could come up with an appropriate comment.


enjoy

and for your viewing pleasure

Techies play with alien toys....

Check this out...either this is for real, or someone really wanted to get their stuff on the Coast 2 Coast website.

http://isaaccaret.fortunecity.com/

Everybody knows it was Tesla's cold fusion experiments gone wrong!

The Tunguska incident is one of my favorites.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6239334.stm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tunguska_event

Monopoly of stupid.

I woke up to news that Rupert Murdoch is probably going to buy the Wall Street Journal. I don't read the WSJ, but still it bothers me. They are a real newspaper, the kind we don't have anymore. And everything Murdoch touches goes tabloid. It bothers me because the WSJ does real journalism and it worries me that we'll have less of that in the world. I don't care about his editorial stance. I care about his management style. He prefers style over substance and spectacle over truth. His way certainly is more profitable, but it doesn't make the world a better place.

The NPR story I heard quoted a guy named Alex Jones and that got me excited, but it was a different Alex Jones.

Jews after dark?

Who patrols edgewood after sundown on fridays?

A modest solution to the ineptitude of the NHPD and the publics fear of the EPDP

Now I'm not wiling to leave my job for a serious cut in pay and benefits to serve as a police officer but I wouldn't mind helping.

James City, VA
Charlton, MA
Niagara, NY
Des Plaines, IL

I'm pretty sure New Haven is a bit larger and a bit more crime riddled than Niagara, NY and
Charlton, Ma.

But not like this:

New York, NY

After all whats the point of restricting the use deadly force for those who have to deal with, well, deadly force?

Armed Jews!

http://www.newhavenindependent.org/archives/2007/06/edgewoods_packi.php

I'm all for people taking their safety into their own hands, but quotes like: "There's going to be authority. There's going to be control, there's going to be rule of law on the street." scare me.

What the hell do you want?

Alright, then. Let's talk about something. What pissed you off today?